A Partner in Crime?
by Colorious
Summary: Artemis Fowl has met his match? Unbelieveable. A new friend...we think. A new adventure. This takes place right after the fourth book. Yay? Please R&R! Revived after many long months. Just a new chapter. Should I bother to continue? You tell me.
1. Chapter 1

My first story! Just playing around with an idea. Please review...and have fun?

**I don't own Artemis Fowl. **

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Coolly, Artemis walked into the office, ignoring the strange glances he received. Not many expected a 15 year old boy dressed in fine, two-piece Italian suits to be approaching the "law firm" Crane and Sparrow. Then again, not many knew Artemis Fowl. He and his giant manner servant, Butler, calmly seated themselves at the table in the meeting room, across from a nervous and fidgeting middle aged man. Mentally, Artemis scoffed. 'So this is who they send to thwart me?' he thought, amused. Artemis was well aware that Crane and Sparrow, the British law firm, was merely a business front for a very successful burglary and fencing enterprise. He planned to see what was really behind the scenes. More specifically, he was planning to steal any other valuable paintings they might posses. When he generously donated The Fairy Thief he had promised his fans more, and he planned to keep that promise. Not that anyone would know it was he, Artemis Fowl II, that was anonymously donating the priceless masterpieces. Worldwide fame wasn't for everyone. No, Artemis would be content with the idea that he had helped the world. Made a positive impact. Besides, if his face were suddenly all over every art magazine and 10 cent tabloid there was out there, it would be painfully difficult to continue plotting and scheming. Patiently, he waited for the man seated across from him to say something. When the man squirmed and looked at Butler, but said nothing, Artemis took his cue. Using an alias, he said pleasantly, "Hello, I am Alphonse Grant. This," he motioned to Butler, "is my colleague, Colonel Xavier Lee. We've come to discuss a matter of utmost importance. Are you the representative we will be speaking to?" The man extracted a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and wiped is forehead. 

"Representative. Yes. Yes, that's me." he stuttered. Artemis could tell the man was a pawn, a dispensable and clueless pawn. He sighed, but not loudly enough for the man to hear.

"Your name?" Artemis asked, keeping his growing impatience out of his voice.

"Kev-Kevin. I'm Kevin. Nice to meet you." Kevin extended a clammy hand toward him. Eyeing it carefully, Artemis shook it. He noted mentally the weak grip Kevin had. Shaking his head, Artemis realized he would get no where with this man. His first encounter would not be as prosperous as he'd hoped, but that didn't discourage him in the least. In fact, he smiled. Artemis Fowl always came prepared, and whilst plotting this particular venture, the thought had crossed his large mind that Crane and Sparrow may send some hopeless, obedient puppy to greet him. Discreetly, Artemis slipped his hand into his pocket, pushing a controller than set off his cell phone. As his telephone ring floated through the room, Artemis quickly pretend-searched his pockets. Finding his cell phone, he checked the number and apologized to Kevin. "I have to take this call. Excuse me for a moment."

"Oh, no problem..." Kevin didn't look all too pleased to be left alone in a room with Butler. Quietly, Artemis slipped out of the room, shut off his phone, and looked around the hallway. Seeing nothing but a few "lawyers" and a water fountain, Artemis proceeded to


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry to leave a cliff-hanger without the little ...'s! Have fun with Chap. 2.

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...head towards the elevator. He pushed the button for the upper floor. When he'd run a digital scan of the place months earlier, he'd noticed something peculiar. The top floor showed up as an empty space. No matter what he did, no matter how much he hacked, nothing would get through. Artemis suspected something, but he was still almost 100 sure this place wasn't the actual headquarters. Unfortunately, it didn't pay to be _almost_ 100 sure. Artemis was way too talented to let something as little as not checking every nook and cranny be the downfall of his mission. He watched as the two silver doors slid apart, revealing an empty elevator. 'Good.' Artemis thought to himself, 'I'll be able to think.' Too bad for him, just as the elevator doors started to inch back together, someone else joined him. For the first time in the duration of his visit, he was a little surprised. Here was a girl his own age. Artemis gave her a quick glance, noting her pinstriped skirt suit and hazel eyes. 'Oh don't distract yourself. You've got business to attend to.' Artemis then thought, chiding himself. 'Probably just some person's daughter.' his brain concluded, before wrapping itself back around the situation at hand. Artemis tried to concentrate, but found himself constantly interrupted by fits of giggles, obnoxious page turning, and annoying beeps. Turning to face the girl, he started to glare, but instead found himself gaping in awe. The girl was reading a set of files from a half-closed briefcase she'd apparently laid of the floor...while text-messaging on her cell phone? 'What kind of strange person is this...?' Artemis wondered, but once again stopped himself. 'It's none of your concern.' he thought, scolding. Huffing at the inconvenience of having such a loud elevator-mate, Artemis decided it would be a waste of his efforts to try and do anything productive in such an environment. Instead, he set to clearing his head. Gently shutting his eyes and blocking out the world, he allowed his brain to wander. For a few seconds anyways. He was interrupted yet again by his rude elevator mate. Knocking into him accidentally and spilling her papers everywhere, she'd obliterated the mood Artemis was trying desperately to set for himself. Impatient, he brushed off his suit and checked the elevator's progress. They'd started on floor 5 of 43, currently standing at floor 9. It would be a long wait.

"I'm so sorry!" he then heard from behind. "I didn't mean to bump you."

Mentally rolling his eyes, Artemis sugared his voice and said, "Don't worry about it."

Feeling kind, he knelt down to help pick up some of her papers. On the top of a paper, he saw the name Helen printed. He robotically picked up the papers, not caring to look at the extensive law gibberish, until one caught his eye. It was a color picture of the building's layout, cleverly tucked in between 2 papers, both with hidden pockets. Artemis wouldn't have even saw it if he hadn't accidentally bent the first sheet. Smoothly, the girl took the sheets away, not giving him the chance to really study the detailed layout.

"I'm Helen." she said, trying to cover the snatch she'd just made.

"Nice to meet you Helen. I'm Alphonse." Artemis replied, interested now. What could this girl possibly be doing with a layout of Crane and Sparrow...? And in such detail...


	3. Chapter 3

Though his logical side was screaming for him to leave the girl and her strange paper be, Artemis couldn't let it go.

"Do you work here?" he asked nonchalantly, thinking that Helen may let some information slip if he talked to her long enough. Checking what floor they were on, Artemis saw that he still had 29 floors to go. 'That may be long enough.' he thought to himself, turning his attention back on Helen.

"Yes...well no, not officially. I'm an...intern." she answered, stuffing her papers rather unceremoniously back into her briefcase. 'Hmm. Hesitant aren't we?' Artemis thought, wondering what exactly she was trying to hide.

"And why are you here?" asked Helen, turning the tables on Artemis.

Without missing a beat, he answered, "Just discussing a few things with a representative."

"Mmmm. Alright, Alphonse." Something about the way she said Alphonse made Artemis curious. Turning to the elevator floor pad, she then said, "I'm going to the top floor. I assume you'll be stopping before then?" Her finger hovering over the buttons.

"No, I'm afraid not." Artemis replied, thoroughly intrigued now. 'Is she trying to access the "secret" top floor too? The one that refuses to show up on my maps?' he pondered. 'That must mean she knows about the door I discovered...' A month or two before, when Artemis realized that he wouldn't get anywhere with his brilliant hacking, he succumbed to the world of good old fashioned bugs. He hired one of Butler's acquaintances to masquerade as a handy man and plant tiny cameras around the 43rd floor. Not long after, he was reviewing the feed and saw a person enter through a hidden door. How cliché. Artemis could only assume that the door led to the top floor he knew existed.

56 enhancements later, he got the code for the door, the exact location, and the measures needed to open it.

Glancing again at Helen, he couldn't help but notice her perfume. Chanel No. 5. The average intern wouldn't be splurging on such a frivolous item...hmf. Artemis took a glimpse at her nails. Freshly manicured. And come to think of it, he'd seen that suit in the Armani Exchange Women's department, when he'd been morally obligated to go with Butler. Butler had wanted to surprise Juliet with some nice clothes for her first big contract signing. The Jade Princess would need something respectable to wear. 'Interesting. Quite a polished intern.' Artemis thought to himself, smirking. Helen must've caught it, because her face showed the slightest hint of confusion, but she quickly masked it.

"Everything okay in your corner of the elevator?" she asked, ever so innocently.

'Oh yes.' he replied mentally. 'Everything is just...peachy.' Gagging on his use of the word peachy, Artemis kept his thoughts to himself and just smiled politely. They were on floor 37 now, and it was time to refocus on the mission at hand. How ever interesting Helen may be, whatever she's trying to hide, it was unimportant right now. Unwilling to give up _totally _on the mysterious elevator girl, Artemis stashed the information later...


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe he shouldn't have. He would need it all in about 7 minutes.

The elevator bell dinged, and slowly, the steel doors pulled apart. Free at last, Artemis casually walked to the bathroom. He's orchestrated the charade very meticulously, and if it were to work, things would have to go precisely as planned. Programming the stop watch function on his Rolex (which he's had specially designed and fitted) to 5 minutes, Artemis stood in front of the mirror for a few seconds and walked back outside. Right into Helen.

If he was a little less brilliant, he'd think the whole thing was a coincidence. Being in the same elevator, going to the same floor, standing in the same spot...his practical side screamed at him to get back on task. Artemis' eyes slid to his watch. 4 minutes and...he couldn't see the number of seconds he had left because a shadow had suddenly engulfed his arm. It was Helen.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" she asked politely. 'Hah. Nice try. What game are you trying to play here?' Artemis thought, starting to get a little impatient. He had a job to do.

Still keeping a nice face, he answered curtly, "Yes. I do. It's 9:12."

"Thank you. Your watch is beautiful by the way. Where did you get it?" Helen asked, gently tilting his arm towards her so she could examine it.

Extremely annoyed, Artemis pulled out of her grip and said, "I had it custom made. Excuse me, I must be off." He turned and walked right back into the men's restroom, wondering all the way.

'Why is she trying to stall me? She can't possibly know what I'm doing.' he thought, looking again at his watch. 2 minutes, 14 seconds left. Pacing slowly across the length of the bathroom, he waited until he had 50 seconds left on his stopwatch before exiting the bathroom. No Helen in site.

Casually, he walked to a back wall, next to a half dieing plant and behind some boxes that were coated in dust. It was the location of the door. Artemis was careful not to touch anything, while mentally counting down. 10...8...6...4...3...the fire alarm went off.

A wave of panic swept the occupants of floor 43,worsenedby the sprays that were suddenly coming from the ceiling. Drenched and confused, they rushed to the elevator and/or stairs.

Artemis, however, was oblivious to all this. He'd turned and concentrated on the key pad the instant the alarm went off. Punching numbers into the secret key pad, hidden well behind the dusty boxes, Artemis frowned. Water was drizzling on his brand new coat. What a shame. He heard a quiet beep and the door made an almost silent "whoosh". He was in. And so was someone else...


	5. Chapter 5

…Artemis stood unaware of his companion. Not that he would have noticed her anyways. He inhaled sharply as he quickly took in his surroundings. Eyes darting from artwork to artwork, Artemis quickly realized that this business front doubled as partial storage. Clever. Before he could inspect further, Artemis tensed.

"You must think you're a pretty bright kid," an icy voice from behind accused.

"Bright enough to understand why you wear Chanel No. 5 and Armani, quite the intern you must be." Artemis answered calmly. As irritating as this deviation from the plan was, he couldn't help but be amused.

"You noticed. I'm afraid my perfume is no match for your custom made Rolex. Did Harman do that for you?" A wry smirk crept across Helen's face as she crossed her arms and stared into Artemis' cool blue eyes.

'She knows Harman?' A trace of surprise dashing his voice, Artemis flashed his wristwatch in the light. "I'd know his work anywhere. A piece of art really." As he calculated the odds of this Helen child knowing Harman, his semi-corrupt but honorable friend at Rolex headquarters, Artemis watched Helen circle around him and inspect the artwork.

"Quite some fine pieces here. The Picasso stolen five years ago. Impressive."

Artemis had had enough. His voice chilling, he nearly whispered, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"You'll do no such thing, although I admire your attempt. I'm afraid your Butler has been disarmed and you'll be escorted out when all is ready. That won't be necessary, Artemis." Helen motioned to the cell phone he'd just pulled out of his pocket.

Artemis transmitted his text message and quickly discarded of any vital intelligence. Then, replacing his phone in his pocket, he met Helen's triumphant gaze. "It would be my honor, Andrea. Shall I call the Bentley or the BMW?"

A fleeting expression of surprise and pleasure crossed Andrea's face as Artemis suddenly felt rather woozy. He calmly peeled of the small anesthetic patch Andrea and placed on his wrist and dropped it on the floor. Smiling ever so slightly, he quietly added, "I wondered when we'd cross paths." Graceful as an unconscious victim, Artemis dropped to the floor as Andrea…


End file.
